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When is it okay to be offended?
Sep. 14th, 2005 04:32 pmOne of my colleagues in my office posted some of these old Lysol douche ads in our office:
http://www.mum.org/Lysol48.htm
Of course he was doing it as a critique. I know that. Sort of like, see what strange things people used to buy into, what they used to think. Only, "feminine hygiene" is STILL one of the ways women are oppressed.
I think most people by now know that douching isn't medically necessary. That it can be dangerous, even with the safest of products. Womenshealth.gov reports, "Research shows that women who douche on a routine basis tend to have more problems than women who do not douche or who rarely douche. These problems include vaginal irritation, infections (called bacterial vaginosis or BV), and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Women who douche often are also more at risk for getting pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)" (http://www.4woman.gov/faq/douching.htm). And yet products like Summers Eve, Massengill, and FDS still sell very well. Why? Because women are made to feel ashamed of their bodies.
Women's vaginas make natural smells. There, I said it. You aren't supposed to, you know. Women of my generation (I think and hope this is changing) were taught to be ashamed of their bodies in general. Good girls don't make bodily noises. For instance, if a man burps in public, it doesn't affect his desirability. If a woman burps in public, she's suddenly unfeminine, coarse, gross, unattractive. Women learn how to fart silently and make tiny burps into a napkin.
Most pointedly, women are taught to be ashamed of anything that distinguished them from "gender neutral" (i.e. male). To carry a tampon in your hand down to the bathroom (of course most women's pants and skirts don't have pockets) becomes either a secret mission or an act of revolution. I finally have become more comfortable with this among friends, but I still dislike doing it at work. When I mention in my literature classes that a certain reference is to menstruation, the men all make faces and the women look down. You might think we're past the days of the Red Tent and being untouchable, but we're really not. And what's all this about not doing yoga when you're on your period? Sheesh. More punishment for being a woman, more ways to exclude us.
So when I saw the ads, I wasn't just offended at their content, but at the insensitivity of posting them. At yet another reminder of the ways that I am oppressed and shamed every bloody day. A reminder of the things I have to fight. I'm starting to suspect that many men are simply ignorant of the cultural messages we're still subject to, of the battles we fight every day. I cringe when I watch a movie and a male character yells, "I smell pussy!" It isn't because I think he's coarse or gross. It's that it's such a sexist statement, and yet not perceived as such; it's culturally acceptable to dislike the smell of a healthy vagina. But I also cringe from years of training: ohmygod, do I smell???
http://www.mum.org/Lysol48.htm
Of course he was doing it as a critique. I know that. Sort of like, see what strange things people used to buy into, what they used to think. Only, "feminine hygiene" is STILL one of the ways women are oppressed.
I think most people by now know that douching isn't medically necessary. That it can be dangerous, even with the safest of products. Womenshealth.gov reports, "Research shows that women who douche on a routine basis tend to have more problems than women who do not douche or who rarely douche. These problems include vaginal irritation, infections (called bacterial vaginosis or BV), and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Women who douche often are also more at risk for getting pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)" (http://www.4woman.gov/faq/douching.htm). And yet products like Summers Eve, Massengill, and FDS still sell very well. Why? Because women are made to feel ashamed of their bodies.
Women's vaginas make natural smells. There, I said it. You aren't supposed to, you know. Women of my generation (I think and hope this is changing) were taught to be ashamed of their bodies in general. Good girls don't make bodily noises. For instance, if a man burps in public, it doesn't affect his desirability. If a woman burps in public, she's suddenly unfeminine, coarse, gross, unattractive. Women learn how to fart silently and make tiny burps into a napkin.
Most pointedly, women are taught to be ashamed of anything that distinguished them from "gender neutral" (i.e. male). To carry a tampon in your hand down to the bathroom (of course most women's pants and skirts don't have pockets) becomes either a secret mission or an act of revolution. I finally have become more comfortable with this among friends, but I still dislike doing it at work. When I mention in my literature classes that a certain reference is to menstruation, the men all make faces and the women look down. You might think we're past the days of the Red Tent and being untouchable, but we're really not. And what's all this about not doing yoga when you're on your period? Sheesh. More punishment for being a woman, more ways to exclude us.
So when I saw the ads, I wasn't just offended at their content, but at the insensitivity of posting them. At yet another reminder of the ways that I am oppressed and shamed every bloody day. A reminder of the things I have to fight. I'm starting to suspect that many men are simply ignorant of the cultural messages we're still subject to, of the battles we fight every day. I cringe when I watch a movie and a male character yells, "I smell pussy!" It isn't because I think he's coarse or gross. It's that it's such a sexist statement, and yet not perceived as such; it's culturally acceptable to dislike the smell of a healthy vagina. But I also cringe from years of training: ohmygod, do I smell???