On Teasing
This article was in today's NYT Magazine. Psychologist Dacher Keltner argues that teasing cements social bonds, and can ease group tensions. In a study of married couples, their rapport was better after teasing about a serious issue than if they had confronted each other. In a study of frat boys, laughing together over their foibles bonded the group.
I tease a lot. My family teases a lot. I hated teasing as a kid, usually because it was ill-intentioned, not humorous. I suspect Keltner doesn't sufficiently address the number of teases that are malicious and damaging. He seems to think those are the exception. Of course, I also disliked teasing because I couldn't always tell when someone was serious and when they were teasing. I learned to tease mostly as a self-defense: I can't tell if you're serious, so I'll respond with a tease.
I tease a lot. My family teases a lot. I hated teasing as a kid, usually because it was ill-intentioned, not humorous. I suspect Keltner doesn't sufficiently address the number of teases that are malicious and damaging. He seems to think those are the exception. Of course, I also disliked teasing because I couldn't always tell when someone was serious and when they were teasing. I learned to tease mostly as a self-defense: I can't tell if you're serious, so I'll respond with a tease.