olds, not news

My students are researching historical events, and some of the narratives are appalling. Soldiers killing babies born on the Trail of Tears. Innumerable rapes. Sometimes it seems like the whole world sucks. This is why people follow sports--so you can have something once in a while to feel good about and to feel part of.

Some good news better come to me soon. I'm beginning to feel like I did back in grad school when the fellowships were being announced and as my friends won I realized I had lost, and the field got narrower and narrower. When is some good news going to come my way?

Acceptable news items:
a checkbook error in my favor
a decrease in my car insurance
my paper proposal is accepted
my accepted article is coming out soon
an email from an editor who likes my dissertation
an invitation for a campus visit
a teaching award
a graduate student who'd like to work with me
a merit raise
a new friend inviting me to a book group or movie
someone wanting to start a writing group with me
ERA finally passed
peace in Iraq, Sudan, Uganda, Nigeria, Kashmir
downfall of the fundamentalism muslim regime in Iran
a new printer for my office
the Grit opening a Knoxville branch
a lower reading on the scale
a lower-level step class at the Rush
my shoes come in and they're perfect
a state income tax, for which all of the funds go to education and healthcare
cure for AIDS
cure for Avian flu
birds nesting in my new birdhouse
letter inviting me to write an article for a collection
my mother got the job she wants
my brother gets engaged
my brother loses weight
invitation to review an anthology, with a large honorarium
J's clients pay him in full
J's venture moves to the next level
our landlord puts a new, pretty chimney cap on our chimney
value of the dollar triples, so I can go to England again
we find a way to reverse global warming
a new religion where it's embarrassing to be rich, so people with money give it all away
Bush does something to benefit the average American rather than his cronies
Hillary announces her candidacy
reform to the electoral system
J cleans the litter box
I have flowers waiting for me at the main office
I get the Stanford postdoc
a slew of jobs open up