Why I'm Not Celebrating Halloween

I used to really love Halloween. It's a chance to dress up and act goofy. Plus there's candy. And vandalism. I have lots of good memories of Halloween.

When we first moved to this subdivision, I was excited about our trick-or-treaters. It's the first place we've lived where we had noticeable numbers. I looked at Halloween as a way to get to know the community better, and a way to see nice costumes.

But after 5 years, I quit.

First off, giving away free candy didn't help us at all get to know the community. These are kids we never otherwise see, and none of the parents introduced themselves then or later. Secondly, it's hard to figure out what the costumes are, and it seems like I don't get to appreciate them. Thirdly, it turns out that I don't really like to talk to strangers. They keep ringing my doorbell and interrupting whatever I'm doing. I can't get any work done on Halloween. And lastly, kids stole our candy last year. Because I didn't want to deal with answering the doorbell, I set out a bowl, and the very first visitors were some teens who stole it all. 

So, I give up. All the zombies and vampires and ghosts can just steer away.